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Author Topic: The Great Skate  (Read 3715 times)

b blue eyes

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The Great Skate
« on: September 16, 2009, 04:54:53 PM »

This is a true story.  It is a mircle I have not been committed to an institution.

The Great Skate

I am going to tell you all about my recent "IDEA"!!!!!!!

When I was in my late teen and early 20's I used to roller skate competition, figures and dance.  Well, it obviously has been years since I had on a pair of roller skates.

As I need to lose 40 # and am not allowed to have any impact on my joints, I got the crazy idea in my head that if I could roller skate maybe I could lose some weight.  I decided that roller blades were out as I tried on my daughters and needless to say, it was not pretty!!!!

So, off I go to K-Mart to buy a "cheap" pair of old fashion 4 wheel roller skates.  All they have is white boot with bright purple wheels, toe stops, and laces!!!!!!!  Mmmmmmmmm, so I figure, what's the difference, as long as they are skates who will notice!

Then I pick out a helmet.  Now the all black one for adults were great but expensive.  So I look over and there is a very expensive helmet really cheap, because it is black with hot pink streaks!!!!!!! Well, anything to save a buck.

Gotta  have  knee pads!!!!  Find a really good bargain, knee,  elbow  and wrist guards in a bag for a real steal!!!!!

So, home I go and put on the skates, in the house, I have hardwood floors, try to stand up holding on to the dining room table.  Gosh, this is much harder than I remember.

Oh, I forgot to tell you, my sense of balance is not good anymore due to the illness!!!!  I can overcome this I say to myself.  Maybe it will be easier outside.

Go to the bike way with my daughter.  Sit in the gazebo and put on the "gear".  Am I ever going to look spiffy!!!!!  Finally get the skates on and am out of breath from bending over, am I ever out of condition, huffing and puffing, then try to figure out how to get the helmet on.  My daughter says,  mom, I think you have it on backwards!!!!! You have to be an engineer to figure out how to put all this stuff on. .By this time she is trying to hold back the laughter.  Then I break open the padding for the first time.  Well, the cheap o stuff barely makes it around my chubby knees!!!!! I tell Jennifer that I think they are children’s and she looks them over and says, no just cheap and even the expensive ones are made for lean knees!

So, I am trying to figure out if I want to risk this without protection and finally settle for the elbow and wrist guards, the elbow guards are now cutting off my circulation so I am a bit on the blue side with black helmet, bright hot pink streaks on it, white 4 wheel boot skates, bright purple laces, toe stops and wheels!!!!!

I looked like a Whale on Wheels!!!!!!

I stand up holding on to poor Jennifer for dear life.  I am bearly moving, a turtle could pass me up, and she is telling me, mom, your  doing  just great!!!!  Really, how dumb does she think I  am.

So, Jennifer is on one side of me and I have my cane in the other hand!!!!

If you have ever seen me, short, 5'2", gray hair, pudgy body and with a cane on roller skates!!!!

Some poor lady came over and asked if I was blind?

No one probably though a person who would use a cane would try to roller skate.  My family tried to stop me from trying but when I get an idea in my head I am determine.

Well, I must have skated at least l0 ft that night holding on to Jennifer.

We went out another night but after that decided it might be better to give up the idea for now!!!! and  stick to playing with my clay!!!!   It is a lot safer.

A Hannah Hamm Original by
Sharon Jean Updike 


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fancyfont

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #1 on: September 16, 2009, 06:24:34 PM »

I can just imagine the looks of this BBE! That would have been a Kodak moment! ;D
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InmemoryofRomeo

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #2 on: September 16, 2009, 10:44:52 PM »

*dies laughing* What a great story! And good on you for giving it a go :) What a pity we couldn't live our lives backwards hey, so we get younger and younger and finish up with the ignorance of youth :) You should keep trying at home, just a little at a time, it'll all come back to you :)

Ahh I remember when I got my first pair of skates... I took a step forward, my legs kept going and I ended up with a bruised backside :P ;D
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Crystal:.

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #3 on: September 16, 2009, 11:38:00 PM »

That would have been quite a sight b blue eyes! I don't think you should give up. Just keep trying! Like with most things, it gets easier with practice! I first learned by gliding from one wall to another in the garage. Our house was on a street that went down a hill. So I had to learn mostly by zooming down it at high speeds and crashing on someones lawn farther down. Eventually I toughened up and got better. But if skatings not your thing then why not try another easier way to exercise such as working out on a treadmill?
« Last Edit: September 16, 2009, 11:43:37 PM by Crystal:. »
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mweed

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #4 on: September 16, 2009, 11:52:13 PM »

Hmm, working out on a treadmill . . .  Maybe you could try staking on the treadmill!  Two hands on both rails to hold you up, the wheels rolling as the treadmill goes, and all you need to do is move your legs to keep the wheels straight! ;)
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Crystal:.

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2009, 11:56:18 PM »

Very creative idea mweed! And I think it just might be perfect for her! Although it sounds kinda dangerous... what happens if you let go of the rails? :O
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yodasapprentice

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #6 on: September 17, 2009, 03:51:35 AM »

 ** ;D still laughing ** what a gr8 story  ;D
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fancyfont

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #7 on: September 17, 2009, 01:16:11 PM »

I must get a treadmill and some roller skates. Sounds like a good way to have some fun. Excerise, I don't think so!  ;)  I would learn quickly not to turn the treadmill off while I'm still on. As she flies backwards! ;D
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b blue eyes

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #8 on: September 17, 2009, 01:29:19 PM »

XD I can just see you now Fancy, flying out the door, through the yard and past your neighbors house. :D  YOU GO GIRL ! :-*

Very creative idea mweed! And I think it just might be perfect for her! Although it sounds kinda dangerous... what happens if you let go of the rails? :O

thanks Crystal, yes, exactly what do you think would happen if I let go of the rails Mweed?  I might land at your front door! :o

** ;D still laughing ** what a gr8 story  ;D

Yoda that is not the only "dumb" thing I have done either.  I have pulled some real no-brainers, no wonder I am not technical. :o
« Last Edit: September 17, 2009, 07:24:58 PM by mweed »
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fancyfont

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #9 on: September 17, 2009, 01:32:17 PM »

And I thought laughing couldn't get any better!
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yodasapprentice

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #10 on: September 18, 2009, 12:34:16 AM »

I dont find it all dumb bbe ;D, think you are very cool actually ;), u must post some more of your stories, totally loved this one
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Dadio

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Re: The Great Skate
« Reply #11 on: September 22, 2009, 12:07:22 PM »

About 6-7 years ago that would have been me i.e. before being confined to a wheel chair.   ;)

Except for the fact I'm Male, 6' 1 1/2" Tall and about 7 years younger that could've been me. :o

You are totally my hero! One day when I grow up I want to be just like you. ;D

I'm very proud to know you! ;)

Dadio   8)
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