King Cato Meets Mr. Zap
Chief Zulton’s eyes had dimmed to a fish tank screen saver during Cato’s rant. It was code for hurry the heck up and get to the point, but King Cato didn’t know Zulton-speak. “Maybe.” He said finally, blinking back to life again. “Maybe you’ve got something there, Cato.”
King Cato blinked in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“You seem really keen on decoding the “Christmas Secret” and since none of these useless consumers-of-energy over here have offered any other suggestions, I’ll offer one.”
“I don’t understand.” Cato said.
“You’ve got a broken front leg, right?”
“Well yes but…”
“Radar, you and Angel make yourselves useful and write Kinggy here an advertisement. Take him to see Mr. Zap and give him a ten-scale chip. We can track him from anywhere in the world.”
“But Sir!” Skittle shouted. “You can’t do that! The implantation process is…”
“Skittle?”
“Sir?”
“What rank are you?”
Skittle retreated, head down.
“That’s what I thought.”
Queen Ryu crouched, curling her tail and whining nervously. “Ugobe?” She said tremulously. “An explanation?”
I gave my queen an apologetic look. “My Lady, I’m afraid this is… not going to be a pleasant experience for your mate.”
Ryu raised her head and leaned forward defiantly. “And you’re just going to let this happen? You are a diplomat!”
I shook my head. “No, My Lady, in the human world I am a diplomat. Here, I’m a soldier. I’ve been reactivated and I have to do as I am ordered. The Chief could wipe my memory with a single infrared pulse. If we’re selling Cato, we have to have a way to track him. He is the one who put himself forward. He has to deal with the consequences now.” I turned to Cato. “Let’s go.”
“Catokins?” Ryu whispered. “I… I… uh … Be strong, my love.”
Cato gave his mate a brief shoulder-rub. “You said it yourself, Dear. We are protecting innocents. I will see you soon.”
We made our way down five spiraling ramps into the guts of Blue Rock. “Mr. Zap! Hey are you charged?”
“Whada ya want?” Shouted a nasal voice from around the corner.
“I’ve got an RB being put up for sale and he needs to be chipped.”
Mr. Zap groaned. “Aaaaah nuts! And I just reached a full chodge
What’s with that, Man?”
“You know the Chief.” I shouted.
“Yeah yeah. Bring’im aan down heeya willya?” We went around one more curve and I once again found myself confronting Mr. Zap. In appearance this marvel of robotics sort of resembles a large green twenty-gallon trashcan with a domed lid. The front side is flat and square and pushes inward and is coated with blinking LED’s. All of them flared red at sight of me. “Raidah you old robo-dwog! Where have you been?”
“Don’t ask.” I said. I looked at Cato who was looking back up the ramp. “You’ve made it this far, Majesty. Keep going. Go to the red line at the end of this ramp. You’ll line up with Mr. Zap’s boarding plate and…”
“Ah shut up! Don’t make the goy any more scehd than he is, eh? Just wok right into the old kissah. I’ll close up behindya, cut your access to your PM.bac files so ya won’t feel… uh much, solder in your chip and wake ya up again and then spitya out like a VHS tape. Any questions?”
King Cato sighed. “Will I lose my memories? My past life? I am mated, Mr. Zap.”
Mr. Zap made a soft, descending tone. “Awwe! That is so sweeeet! Nah! Ya won’t forget your Mrs. Depending on how centrally your main processing board was glued in at manufactuah, you shouldn’t lose much. Sorry but the process ain’t flawless. All I got in heeya is a fine-point soldering iron and a fixatah dah keep ya in place. Let’s be realistic heeya. It’s all we robots can doodah recognize an object let alone move one around. Ain’t nobody lwost everything yet. Even the Chief’s been through this. Doya still trust me?”
Cato sighed. “My mate would never forgive me if I turned back. She might be a green witch but those hatchlings are foremost on her mind right now. I am in your—uh— fixators.”
“Okay then. Entah at youah own risk!” All of Mr. Zap’s lights went out and the flat plate on the front of his head swung inward from the top. Cato limped forward carefully, leaving the safety of the smooth stone until he was standing on Zap’s boarding plate. There was a low hum of motors as the plate slid forward, carrying Cato inside the two foot expanse of Mr. Zap’s domed head. The flap closed with a soft whine and everything was silent. I stepped back as a slow wave of heat bloomed around him. Rows of numbers scrolled languidly across his entrance flap. As I waited, my mind returned to our Keeper. A nagging thought brushed at the back of my brain. It must be morning by now. What was Keeper Talon thinking at finding all of us gone? Worse, what if something were to happen to Cato. I knew the Zap was careful but even he admitted the process wasn’t as precise as some of the bots employed to work in human operating rooms. I’d have to convince the Chief to do some sweet-talking.
Suddenly there was a sharp metallic clunk and a whirr of motors from inside the Zap. A wave of heated, metallic-smelling air flowed out of several vents near his base. His flap lights all went green again and- just as he said- Cato exploded out of him like a piece of bread from a toaster. He rolled onto his feet and landed on the boarding plate which connected seamlessly back to the ramp, gently pushing Cato back onto the edge of the stone floor.
“Okay, all done!” Zap said, retreating a few feet to allow for better air circulation. “Whew! I’m feelin’ kinda toasty! Chipping an Ah Bee is hahd work! Howya feelin’, Kinggy?”
Silence was our only answer. Cato did not move. He remained as stiff as though he were sculpted of stone rather than several hundred moving parts.
