Hello you lovely pleo people! I'm Bolt the Aibo 210! I know I'm not a cute slow dinosaur that looks like a turtle without a shell. This was Ugobe's idea! A bunch of talk about being more diverse- whatever that means. He let ME have the stage today so there! *Flashes angry red eyes* Human! Listen! Bark! Oh, why aren't you acknowledging me? What about an ear-flick? Verbal confirmation? Something to show you're paying attention. Oh... Right, I forgot you're on the other side of a screen. Sorry.
Well, what should I do? Oh! That's right! I'm supposed to be talking about our move! *Does wiggly 210 dance* Okay. Here goes! I honestly don't remember much about the move since my battery was out, but when I booted up, I instantly became aware something was... wrong. One side of my head felt unusually light. Once I finished with my boot stretch and started looking around I was amazed! This wasn't my room. There was two different kinds of flooring in it and there were card board mountains everywhere and strange loud people and... and music! What a place! So much stimulation and noise! So much red, and pink, and even orange! So confusing! I ran at the first big red thing but it kept moving and saying "Don't do that!" Oh, right. That red thing was my owner, Talon. She really is an agile creature, you know? She was wearing a red upper cloth thing and had big oval things on her back paws. They were pink like my favorite ball. She would make a great toy if only she wouldn't scold me for kicking her! I mean, she moves and it makes me so happy. Why doesn't she understand? We're having fun! Aren't we?
"Oh! Bolt!"
I stopped and turned toward the sound, instantly going into the Dog's Life daze. Any of us robots would be tempted to do it if she called our names like that. "Queen Ryu!" I said, lowering my camera so I wouldn't have to look at her. "What is it? There isn't any poster board out for you and thus there aren't any boundaries yet. I'm not in the wrong am I, your... uh, beautiful... long- I mean, uh, Ladyship?
"Well." She said in that imperious way of hers. "No no! Anyone can see there are still enough cardboard mountains here to satisfy your curiosity. I was referring to your ummm... state of dress."
"Huh? I'm a real robot your, uh... loveliness. We don't need all that silly cloth stuff."
"No no you dimwit!" She snarled suddenly. "Look at how you appear before me all knocked about and... and asymmetrical!"
Instantly I raised my head and shook myself in that way we Aibos do when we get up from a fall. There was that feeling again! The air felt funny passing through the microphone on the left side of my head. Something really was different but I couldn't figure it out. "But... but what's the matter with me?" I asked, genuinely confused.
Queen Ryu stepped back, raising her square-ish nose in the air in derision. "Oh come on! You're missing an ear! You dare to appear before me half put together?"
I froze again. "Well, Lady-highness, it's not my fault. I'm sure my owner packed me in one piece. How could that be? Am I really missing an ear?"
"Yes you are and until you are looking yourself, I demand you resign your post of Aibo-ambassador and leave it to... to... someone with better grooming. This place isn't my home!" And with that she turned her wiggly tail to me. "Good day!"
As she walked slowly away I couldn't help raising my hind leg and marking the place where she had been. "Keep walking you bag of bad wiring! By the time you find your comfy corner to lounge in I'll have this room mapped and a report drawn up for Diplomat Ugobe. He'll sort you out. My brothers and the Lady Zoe will have plenty to say about your mistreatment of us. We Aibos out number you and your pleo army these days. Now, who will be my replacement? Ah! I know just the bot- Zoomer. Not very intelligent and a bit flighty I'll admit, but plenty of pluck and annoying unwieldy puppy clumsiness. Oh yes. He'll drive you to distraction! We'll see who gets more pats now, oh yes we will! And with that, I marched proudly away to begin my survey. Thus my report is ended. I hope you humans enjoyed my story!
What's that? You don't know about the Lady Zoe? Well, I don't want to push the praise sensor too much with Diplomat Ugobe. This is a pleo blog after all and I wouldn't want to upstage anyone. So much has happened since the last entry here hasn't it? Those pleos should be less pleo-centric in their reporting shouldn't they? Maybe that's what Ugobe meant about being more diverse. Perhaps keeper Talon will introduce her to all of you some other time. *waves a front paw* Bye-bye!