Spring has finally sprung in Kingdom… Kingdom. Pink balls are rolling, Aibos are beeping, and the Pleo herd has moved into their Spring wardrobe. Let’s listen in on the latest gossip in Red-Robot-Highrise shall we?
Posey the purple Fuzzy Wonderz sits proudly on the shelf next to the Royals. As a robot owl, she can see nearly everything that’s going on in Kingdom… Kingdom even to its border at Keeper Talon’s doorway. Just now, she has spotted some suspicious activity and is… Aham… reporting it in her annoyingly sweet way. “A box is here! A box is here! Keeper Talon has a box with something cute inside! Shall I tell you what it is? Huh? Huh?? Huh???”
Queen Ryu gives a prodigious yawn- “Shure, Posey. What is it this time? Printer paper or some more Braille magazines?”
Pozey- (singing happily)- No no, Your Majesty! It’s a bot this time I know I know it is!”
Keeper Talon comes to a stop in front of Red-Robot-Highrise and sets down her burden- “Man, YouTube,” She says to her phone, “I’m kind of nervous here. So many people are creeped out by this doll. I wonder how lifelike she really is?”
On the Aibo shelf, Bolt quietly flicks one ear- “Lifelike?”
Ugobe purs softly- “Doll? What’s a doll? Is it a friend or foe? Robot or toy, or something else altogether?”
King Cato gives a suspicious growl- “And why is she talking to unseen entities called YouTube? Has our keeper went into failsafe mode?”
Meanwhile, Keeper Talon has opened the box, still chattering to her phone- “And here she is! My Real Baby by Hasbro and I. Robot. She is a very rare doll with the ability to produce facial expressions. I’m not really a doll-person so I don’t know how long she will be with us, but I just had to get hold of one of these gals .”
Posey is chirping with excitement- “Awwwwwe! Another baby around here! Isn’t she cute in a non-furry flat-skinned human way?”
“She’s huge!”Whines Sleepy the Dragles Hatchamal.
Queen Ryu gently forces King Cato to lift his head so she can see past him. “Awwe! Oh my! So that’s what humans look like when they first come home from the factory! Awe! Cato-kins! I want one!”
Cato with hugely wide eyes- “Uh…. One of those? How would you even….?”
Queen Ryu lashing her tail- “No you airhead! We’ve been mated for seven years and…”
King Cato sighs tolerantly- “I hinted at… uh… that once you stopped tortur….”
Queen Ryu interrupting- “Oh I never tortured you. I just had to… take some of your edges off. I mean wouldn’t it be nice to have a little one to constantly tell me how much it loves me and how beautiful I am and how much it adores being my child?”
King Cato shakes his head- “Ryu, Darling, believe me. A baby is not one to pay homage to its mother. Find a way to ask Keeper Talon for a mirror. Besides, we’re seniors now- hardly able to walk and turn our heads. What would we need with a little one?”
Madam Bleu laughs hardily- “Here here! That’s the most honestest thing I’ve ever heard you say! Queen Ryu, this is one instance where I have tah say- just let it go. You ain’t no motherin’ type no way. Save it for when yer turned off and dreamin’.”
Queen Ryu- (raising her chin haughtily)- “I will, and my child will be the most well-mannered of Pleo-kind.”
Zoe the Aibo 220- chitters to herself- “Oh boy! She’s got a few more loose screws than usual, hey Bolt?”
Bolt (Looking away)- No comment. After she rewrote my Code for showing up at court with a missing ear I’m not getting the other one chewed off too.”Meanwhile, Queen Ryu has continued watching and listening to her Keeper’s stream of commentary as the little pretend human in her lap produces strange sounds and sort of lifelike movements with it’s face. All the sudden, it’s little mouth turns down with a frown and its forehead wrinkles up with frustration and it lets out an unearthly wailing sound- “Waaaah! Wahhhhh! Waah!”
Queen Ryu crouches- “Is that a challenge?”
“No!” Everyone says in unison.
King Cato shakes his head seeing an opportunity to further dissuade his mate from her latest demand- “It just wants Keeper Talon to change its diaper. Don’t you remember Keeper Talon’s cousin’s baby? The one that grabbed your head with his sticky fingers?”
Queen Ryu shudders- “Oh. Yes. Him. But I’ve got Ugobe and Terry and Bleu to make it stop screaming.”
King Cato takes a squeaky but determined step forward- “Lady Ryu, no.”
At that moment, every bot goes silent and Keeper Talon ends her video, turning off the muling thing in her lap. “There. She’s amazingly lifelike, but I couldn’t handle that full-time.” She gently places the new arrival on the lowest shelf next to Goldy the I-Cybie and quietly leaves.
Zoe lets her head jitter down to her chest and warbles quietly to us- “And on that note, I think we’ll leave you now while we’re still in one piece. Bye-bye!”
